Viagra Skit Song Lyrics

Viagra Skit by Ludacris

[Ludacris] Oh god! Oh god! Ugh..
[911 Lady] 9-1-1 What’s your emergency?
[Ludacris] Yes ma’am I got a hard problem, I got a hard problem…
[911 Lady] Calm down sir, it can’t be that hard, Okay?
[Ludacris] No, no it can’t, it-it can’t… It is! My dick, it’s been hard for over eight hours and it just won’t go down!
[911 Lady] Excuse me?!
[Ludacris] I took one of them Viagras for the first time…
[911 Lady] Word?!
[Ludacris] And the first one didn’t do anything, s-so I took another one…
[911 Lady] OK..
[Ludacris] And now my sh*t harder than titanium in this motherf**ker, I’ve been knocking sh*t over…
[911 Lady] Damn, I ain’t had no dick in 6 months..
[Ludacris] Why don’t them sh*ts come with directions?! I don’t know what to do, ma’am help!
[911 Lady] Hey girl, Lisa!
[Lisa] Hmhm–?
[Ludacris] –My god, what was I thinking…
[911 Lady] –Call my shift, forward this call to my cell and confirm his address!
[Lisa] I got you!
[Ludacris] Swear to god imma kill Tyrone and them niggas, I ain’t never listenin’ to them niggas again man, I swear!
[Lisa] Mmm… Calm down, sir help is on the way!
[Ludacris] I can’t believe these b**ches set my dick up for failure!
[911 Lady] Well, what happened anyway?
[Ludacris] I had, I had invited this chick over, you know what I’m sayin’, this b**ch I knew from a long time…
[911 Lady] Mm-Hmm…
[Ludacris] And she said she was with her friend, and they both wanted this thang, man, like they both wanted to jump me off, you know what I’m sayin’, and then–
[911 Lady] –Poor thang!–
[Ludacris] –it started going to voicemail, man I HATE these b**ches, man why do they need to be doing this stupid sh*t?!
[911 Lady] Mm-Mm, sir, help is in the neighborhood!–Is it the last house on the right?
[Ludacris] …Right on the right… right? No, they right, THESE b**chES AIN’T RIGHT!
[Lisa] Mm, don’t worry about that! Momma gon’ take care of you! Oh, is the one with the blow up dolls in the front?
[Ludacris] The one in the cut, with the furry bushes… it’s got some furry bushes, yes it does… I done wacked off like three times! I don’t know what else to do!
[911 Lady] Well, you ain’t gotta do that no more! (opens and closes door)
[Ludacris] What the hell you doin’ in my house?!
[911 Lady] Nigga, where the drinks at?!