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Thumbs by Lucy Dacus
You hung up the phone
And I asked you what was wrong
Your dad has come to town
He’d like to meet
I said “You don’t have to see him”
But for whatever reason you can’t tell him no
So we meet him at a bar
You were holding my hand hard
He ordered rum and coke
I can’t drink either anymore
He hadn’t seen you since the fifth grade
Now you’re nineteen and you’re five-eight
He said “Honey, you sure look great
Do you get the checks I send on your birthday?”
I would kill him
If you let me
I would kill him
Quick and easy
Your nails are digging
Into my knee
I don’t know
How you keep smiling
I love your eyes
And he has them
But you have his
‘Cause he was first
I imagine my thumbs on the irises
Pressing in until they burst
I clear my throat
And say we ought to get home
He offers us a ride
I reply “No, that’s alright”
When we leave
You feel him watching
So we walk a mile in the wrong direction
I would kill him
If you let me
I would kill him
Quick and easy
Your nails are digging
Into my knee
I don’t know
How you keep smiling
I don’t know
How you keep smiling
I don’t know
How you keep smiling
I wanna take your face between my hands and say
“You two are connected by a pure coincidence
Bound to him by blood, but baby, it’s all relative
You’ve been in his fist ever since you were a kid
But you don’t owe him sh*t even if he said you did
You don’t owe him sh*t even if he said you did”
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