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2HONEST by Vic Mensa
[Intro: Snoh Aalegra & Vic Mensa]
Loneliness speaks through my smile
It sings the darkest lullaby
La, la-la-la, la-la, la
La, la-la-la, la-la, la
I call a 51-50 on myself
That’s how you know I need help
I call a 51-50 on myself
That’s how you know I need help
One hand stickin’ out of my grave
The whole world left me for dead, Michael Jackson’s estate
But I’m too high, I’ll never land
A river that knows its source can never run dry
That’s why I had to cut out the middle man
Hate from all directions, assassinatin’ my character
I felt like Malcom X and J. Edgar Hoover’s America
I said the truth and I paid for it, I paid for it
I got on my knees and cried to the Lord, I prayеd for it
I had bounties on my head, when my sistеr was in my home
Sleepless night by the chrome, trigger finger next to my dome
Contemplatin’ self-destruction, equatin’ myself to nothin’
Fixated on my regression, I felt like Benjamin Button
I collapsed in my depression, I just couldn’t write for nothin’
When I stared at my reflection, all that I felt was disgusted
My confidence evaporated, less than a man, I was emasculated
I turned to violence to be validated
Violated probation again and again
My kin and my friends like, “What the f**k, is up with you fam?”
Don’t you understand? Niggas wanna f**k with you fam
But you keep f**kin’ yourself and that f**ks with your fans
[Chorus: SAINt JHN & Snoh Aalegra] Pardon me, my nigga I believed the lie and kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
The pain behind your eyes, tells me that that’s not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
And it’s hard to explain to the people standin’ still why you’re runnin’ (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
I was runnin’ from the absolute savage that I know I’m becomin’ [Post-Chorus: Vic Mensa & Snoh Aalegra] I call a 51-50 on myself
That’s how you know I need help
I call a 51-50 on myself
That’s how you know I need help (Oh, oh) [Verse 2: Vic Mensa] Do you know what the f**k it feels like to wake up every day in distress?
p**sed off at yourself, neglect, so you just lay in your mess
And people depend on you, got so much sh*t on your chest
That your train of thought can’t seem to find a way to express
I found a notebook in my parent’s crib from when I was five
I went inside and it said “I hate myself” I wanted to die, cryin’
I couldn’t even fathom the child feeling so lonely
So next time a nigga tell you ’bout Vic, say they don’t know me
I need to be loved, I need to be loved
I needed the drugs ’cause I couldn’t do it
I couldn’t do it, I was goin’ through it
Growin’ up I was a product of my biracial confusion
Neither black nor white, I guess that makes me translucent
I crushed everything I touched
I f**ked every single sl*t, I couldn’t bust, it was a knot
In my stomach, I plummet into my dungeon
Down in the depths of my darkness
I’m steppin’ over my carcass, I’m comin’ out of my hatred
Tired of my heart bein’ vacant
I made a promise, won’t break it
I told my momma we’ll make it
I told my gang we gon’ make it
If they won’t give it to us, we’ll take it
One thing that is true is my greatness
Promise I won’t doubt, I’ll believe it
I’m exercisin’ my demons for the last time
[Chorus: SAINt JHN & Snoh Aalegra] Pardon me, my nigga, I believed the lie and I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
The pain behind your eyes tells me that that’s not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
And it’s hard to explain to the people standin’ still why you’re runnin’ (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
I was runnin’ from the absolute savage that I know I’m becomin’ [Outro: SAINt JHN] But pardon me, my nigga, isn’t this the life you said that you wanted?
You know the car’s movin’ fast, what a view, and the women are stunnin’
And it’s hard when you’re comin’ from the bottom tryin’ not to become it
So I’m runnin’ from the absolute savage, that I know I’m becomin’
Comin’, yeah, ayy
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